Mid-life crisis male, half century plus some, overweight, out of shape, balding but hair growing from new unusual places to compensate. Half married, half serious, positive, thoughtful, forgetful when need be, honest, lazy when I have time for it, hardworking but take the time to smell the coffee. 

I work for the government in the Department of Redundancy Department as a Vice Assistant to the Alternate Deputy.  It is a very important position, I am told.  I am in charge of making sure the backup department has backups.  I enjoy the work but it seems like I must redo everything twice over... enough about work... I repeat again for the second time twice.. enough about work.. I will move on.

I enjoy long one sided conversation​s with animals and have a few Basset Hounds to hold down my furniture, and horses to run my life and make sure I have little free time. A new addition to the farmette is an adopted stray cat which must be to replace the one that recently passed away.  I was never a cap person but after having multiple Basset hounds one beging to appreciate the simplicity of felines.

I have traveled all over US and Europe and lived in Iceland, Hawaii, Sicily, California, Las Vegas, Dallas, New York, and no longer on the run in Virginia.  I now prefer local trips on my Harley to explore the nooks and cranies of small town America. 

I have had complaints that some of the above is ficticous, and in the spirit of truth and transparancy​, I must disclose that the complainents​ observations​ have merit.  If you are clairvouyant​ you may be able to sort through and discover the truth or drop me a line.

Emu or Ostrich.. you tell me?
Majority of votes wins ..  if SuperVoters agree
Currently...​ Emu 116     Ostrich 14       You Decide 2008
The voting was strong for the Ostrich until a certifiable expert weighed in with G'day ..It's a Bloody Emu, Mate.. I 'ave em for breakfast every day with a Carlton Cold ... So I think it is settled and the picture has been edited to reflect the proper bird status.  Thanks Faye!.. have another cold one, on me mate.   Did you know the eye of an Ostrich or Emu is bigger than their brain?  That was a little known fact from Drizzle Wilgus of Ticktown. 

I would prefer to correspond with left handed, female redheads with green eyes, between the age of 44 and 53,  born under the sign of Cancer or Leo during a new moon, that drive either a Toyota or Mini Cooper with standard transmission​s.  Anyone interested in collecting old toasters and sharing interesting toaster trivia would be a real plus and should contact me right away... before midnight tonight so you don't forget.  The bottom line,  without getting too wordy, or sounding like I am begging for companionshi​p,  is I am just looking for someone to write back and forth to once in a while and share some of life experiences and pass on funny stories.

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich  behind him.  The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man  says,  'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and
turns to the ostrich,   'What's yours?'

'I'll have  the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time  later the waitress returns  with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the  exact change for payment.

The next  day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A  hamburger, fries and a coke.

The ostrich  says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes  routine until the two enter again    'The usual?' asks the  wait ress.  'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked
potato and a salad,'  says the man.

'Same,' says  the ostrich.

Shortly the  waitress brings the order and  says, 'That will be  $32.62.'

Once again  the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and  places it  on the table.

The waitress  cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me,  sir. How  do you  manage to always come up with the exact change in your  pocket  every time?'

'Well,' says  the man, 'several years ago I was  cleaning the attic and found  an old lamp.  When I rubbed it, a  Genie appeared and offered me two  wishes. My  first  wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,  I would  just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's  brilliant!' says the waitress.  'Most  people would ask for a million
dollars or something, but  you'll  always be as rich as you want for as  long as you live!'

'That's  right. Whether  it's a gallon of  milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is  always there,' says the man.

The waitress  asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man  sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second  wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I  say.'

Cooking, doing dishes,  laundry, ironing, washing windows, and picking up after myself.. In your dreams maybe.. hehehe ..on second thought maybe just cooking.  Drinking fne wine like MD20/20 or maybe an occasional bottle of Sangría mixed with some moonshine just to make it interesting.​  Have you ever read through some of these profiles and just fell asleep from the "I like Kitty Kats, the ocean breeze  and sented candles"​ crowd... well you wont find that here although there is nothing objectionabl​e with any of that.
There is nothing more stimulating than Motorcycle trips to little mountain towns and wrenching on the Harley beside the road in a pouring rain, then getting help from some old school biker that is probably running from the law. 

Stomping through a foggy graveyard in the early morning hours, removing moss from old stones to uncover the long forgotten names while doing genealogy research. (upstate NY and New England roots) Genealogy is kind of a winter hobby that get attention when the grass is not growing.  I am just as interested in helping others do family research as it is the puzzle solving aspect I enjoy the most.

Cleaning up horse manure... not that I actually enjoy it, but the alternative is less pleasant. 

Finding things to do with a small John Deere tractor and fixing things I tear up with same.

I plan on studying the art of procrastinat​ion sometime in the near future.  At one time I was indecisive about starting this but now I am just not sure that I would finish... I'll have to think on this some more.

I know this is getting to be a wordy profile and most will have been bored to tears by now.  My intent was to provide enough information so you really did not have to take the time to write me for any details.. saving us both some keystrokes..​ wear and tear on the computer etc.  Anyone that really gets this far down in the profile is possibly off center enough to be very interesting.​  Eighty five percent of the viewers never make it this far.. if you are one of the 15%.. well you deserve a gold star and my sincere gratitude...​ I'm inpressed with you from the start.

The National Anthem,  Be-Bop, Polka, Marching Band, Pop goes the weasel. Roger Miller's King of the Road. Strangers in my soup. Freebird

All Leslie Neilson work and Steve Martin movies,The Gods Must be Crazy, Gone with the Wind, Forest Gump, Wild Hogs, The Bucket List, The Rear Window.

The Three Stooges, Twilight Zone, X files, Twin Peaks, Mr. Rogers, Earl, How its made.  The Dog Wisperer,

See Spot Run by Dick and Jane
The Long Yellow River by I.P. Daeley.
Anything by Charles Darwin
Downpour! by Wayne Dwops
Falling Trees by Tim Burr
The Fall of a Watermelon by S. Platt
Pull with All You've Got! by Eve Ho
I Love Fractions by Lois C. Denominator
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by Willy Makit and Betty Wont

Let's get a move on it  Mr. Poindexter, we're burnin' daylight.  John Wayne

No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood

"Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink."  MARTIN M LOMASNEY