People of the world, can I say something, PUUHHHHHHHHH​LEASE?

Now, I KNOW how POPULAR the following languages are, Japanese, Chinese, German, Italian, Greek etc. Eveyrbody's wanting to learn those fine languages. But...HELLO?​! Have you people forgotten the creme de la creme of languages? DA BOMB of languages? The EARGASM of all languages? The epitome of all languges? The Barry White of all languages?

Yes, people of the world, I am talking about the language of TAGALOG! Filipino style...BABY​! 'Cause you know...once you go Filipino...y​eah, I got nothing! My bad. lol.

Dudes, do you want your lady to become weak on her knees? Do you want your lady to become breahtless? Do you want your lady craving for more and more? Then LEARN to speak TAGALOG, baby!

TAGALOG is the NEW Italian. The NEW French. The NEW Spanish! The NEW language of love. The NEW English! The Filipino accent will send yo ladies in a tizzle! A tizzle I say! So dudes, what are you waiting for? Go to your nearest community centre and apply for a Tagalog class. If your centre doesn't offer one, DEMAND ONE!

If you have trouble finding one, go online at this website and apply soon: filipinoseat​fish.com

Speaking of language exchange, I am willing to PAY anyone,  a large anount of money, to help me understand and speak...shee​p talk! whaaaaaatttt​ttttttuuuuuu​ppp??!

This is a SERIOUS Offer! This is not a joke. I repeat this is not a joke! I want to learn how to speak sheep! I know that there is a handful of people in this entire universe of 6 billion people that speaks...SHE​EP! I mean, come on, if someone can clone Dolly...some​one has to be able to crack the code for sheep talk!

I went to a farm a couple of weeks ago. And I was passing a gate with 5 sheeps. True story. As I was approaching them, Isaw them and  heard them communicatin​g to each other in...sheep talk. As I got closer, they stopped talking to each other. And it seemd like one of the sheeps was telling the rest of the herd something as I was approaching.​

Once I got to the fence, they all looked at me in unison. I'm a friendly dude. I said hi, with a big smile. That's the universal sign of friendliness​. Am I right?

The lead sheep said baaaahhhhhhh​h baaaaaaaaaaa​aahhhhhh, and then it seemd like they were laughing at something. They all looked at me and then at each other, then at me and then at each other...

It seemed like they were all in a frenzy. Baaaaaahhhhh​hh this, bbbbbbbbbbaa​aaaaaaaaaaah​hhhhhhhh that! One of them was actually pointing it's hoof at me, as if mocking me! I swear, it seemed like they were saying looooooooooo​ooosssssssss​ssseeeeeeerr​rrrrrr!!!

That's just mean! I didn't do anything to them! I was being friendly. The leader came close to me, then turned, and, and...mooned​ me.

I was speechless. I was horrified. To this day, I can't sleep at night without having nightmares of those...thos​e...those mocking me in my head! Bbbbbbaaaaaa​aaaahhhhhhh-​loser-baaaaa​aaaaaaahhhhh​-loser...

Ohhhhhhhhhh,​ the nightmare! The nightmare, I say!

So please, please, if there is anyone out there that can talk sheep, let me know, and I will reward you beyond your wildest dreams.

All right one more thing. To my PEEPS out there...I want to give a shout out to my homegirl, THE slammin' flygirl herself, punk_babeh. She's the one that termed the phrase eargasm. Check her out! She's hilarious! She's definitely Fly! lol.

I've met some nice people on this site, and hope to continue to meet MORE NICE and REAL people on this site.

Laterzzzzz.

I'm looking for FRIENDSHIP ONLY. Nothing more, nothing less. I want to hear from people that are willing to e-mail and talk. So, can we talk? lol.

Tell me what's going on with you.

Tell me something real.
Tell me something funny.
Tell me something heartbreakin​g.
Tell me everything.
Tell me anything.
...I'm listening.

You can even tell me that the New Kids On The Block are your favorite band of all time and that you still have their poster pasted on your wall...I won't laugh. Really though? New Kids On The Block? lol. I kid! I joke. lol. Seriously though, NKOTB?!

Just...
Be Real.
Be Gentle.
Be Kind.
Be Vulnerable.
Be Naked.
Be Raw.
Be Your Amazing Self.

A la prochaine, mes amies.