I make my home in dry arid climates, underneath dry riverbeds or the underside of sun soaked boulders. My diet consists of small bugs and ants, butterflies,​ or road-side garbage. I am green and scaley, with a long pointy tail and a yellow gem studded underbelly. I also wear shades.



Would be nice to find some friends to exchange emails with, for fun and profit, minus the profit.  Its really cool to have someone you can blast with useless information and expect a non-biased reply or at least some sort of humourous insult. I think I just spelled hummus by mistake.

p.s
I have a hard time saying no to marriage proposals, and unfortunatel​y I agreed to 3 just this week, but it seems that my family is running short on dowery goats, and they asked me to scale back. So unless you're Kylie Minogue or her good looking brother Danni Minogue, or the ghost of the great late Maggie Thatcher, then the answer is NARF. (if you are nerdy, read Niiiii)

p.p.s
I am not a wishing troll, to those that have been rubbing me furiously - please stop it. Okay, just one more t tt tt t ttt tttt tttt ttttttt tt tt t tti mm ee.

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY SECTION: (or is it)

Please expect my replys to make sense, always. Vowels are good.

(yes it is)

Good, now that we got that out of the way, don't take me to your leader.


p.s

I am also very interested in being scammed. I will send money to ANYONE and will get entangled in the most ridiculous pyramid schemes. I've already entered my credit card #s in the credit card winning lottery where you have to put in your credit card # and you may win a prize, but unfortunatel​y my # hasn't been drawn yet. Better luck next time. If you are a rich person from Nigeria and wish me to help you get a large sum of money out of  your country, I am the person to help you! I have small hands, but contrary to popular opinion I am NOT broad-backed​. Yes, distilled cabbage perfume is still in style as in the old country.

p.s
Sending me wishes* makes them come true***, no matter how ridiculous they are**



* wishes may not appear as advertised
** Curse removal insurence charge extra
*** True [tm]  is a registered trademark of the Coca Cola Corporation and may not be used without permission

I speak very little Romanian. So little in fact, its comical. Please, don't make me reply in romanian. It is bad. And probably very illegal.

** Breaking news **
I can now swear in Hungarian, Hewbrew, English, Esperanto, Romanian, Spanish, Portugese, Maori and sign language (its actually just the finger, but I modified it to be at least 12% more effective vs bad motorists, and 75% more effective vs a sibling)

Videogames, tuna, frizzy hair, twine, travel, annoying people, vague threats, mirth, not night elves (ugly), Oslo-bashing​, printed fish

Its not so much a hobby, but a compulsion, I must ensure that the desktop recycle bin is empty, AT ALL TIMES.  I shouldn't write this here, this is no time for mania! Oh god, I hate it when it bulges with garbage.

SUPRISE MID-PROFILE TEST:

Calin likes

a) photography
b) flu shots
c) the taking of temperature,​ OLD SCHOOL
d) a vat of acid with the word "Plimco"​ written on the side
e) fish with the word "Plimco"​ imprinted on it
f) regular fish (also known as "blank fish")



I'm looking for penpalls from ALL over the world, I'm looking at you Ghana! We can trade emails and snailmails etc. I've realized that I've only written 3 snail mails ever, and that its really fun. If you're interested, drop me a line.

** Update **

Ghana is right out. Words were said, it was horrible. Someone called someone else "quippy"​, which is just wrong, you don't do that, you don't call friends that. To sum it up, I am no longer speaking to Ghana until I get a written apology.

p.s
no norway, the land of attention whoring. LOOK AT ME, I'M FJORDY!
I got news for you, no one cares man!

* These characters and events are fictional and any resemblance to persons living, dead, ... present, or fictional is purely and completely coincidental​ I wont cheer for norway even at the special  olympics i can't believe you're still reading this you foolish human let me write on you with magic marker i just want to write Z on your forhead

All time favorite: Pink Floyd.

"Why"​ you ask ? Best band of all time, but its too depressing for daily wear. I also enjoy The Indoor Catapult, but thats not a band.

Other then that, I listen to everything that I find entertaining​ including the soothing sounds of mating minks.

LOTR, ROTLO, SWTSROLLF, WAFFLETREK, kungfu movies, Superbad, oh god, there are so many I just cant think of one right now. But I can tell you my favorite pastry: Danish.

And there is nothing you can do to take that away from me.

Star Trek, Dexter, Star Trek, Family Guy, Simpsons, Star Trek. Any show about interstellar​ travel with bald captains.  Shows about a 5 year voyage as well.  Something about pirates.
A voyage to the center of the earth, that movie about gnats where the gnats are the source of all problems and there is a serious conflict but it is resolved by the end, Terminator 1/2/3/4 (I've visited the future, and T4 is AWESOME!), movies with people that overcome huge odds to do something or rather that is a bit impressive at least.

All history books, and I mean ALL of them. Biographies,​ fantasy (the gunslinger, is good, yes ? very good), politics, tuna. Anything by Hunter S Thompson, Stephen King (oh shut up! he's a good writer, I wont have you talking smack about him on MY profile), Jules Verne (wierd, I know), vikkat,  Alexander Dumas (you may be tempted to read 'dumbass'. Don't.) etc etc.  I also read the back of parcels, shampoo bottles, notes I find that people write, frantic scribbling, anything non-norway related.

Right now I am reading: In Fond Rememberance​ of Me by Howard Norman.

"Beefy,​ come demote the egg children"​
- by some guy

Tis my birrrthday, yarr
  - Napoleon at Waterloo

Soilent green is made of peoples, peoples.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. - Chuck Palahniuk