MILEAGE:​ 36 yrs, felt like 20.
WARRANTY:​ Still good for at least 30yrs
EXTERNAL:​ Used, but in mint condition.
INTERNAL:​ Occasional malfunctions​ in "DVD buying unit". - Shuts down when asked "Do you work out?" - "Americ​an Psycho"​ mode can be switched off by adding milk & cookies.
PERVERT/CRE​EP/STALKER FACTOR:​ Average, at least for a German.
PERSONAL​ HYGIENE:​ Outstanding
USER​ MANUAL:​ "Der Steppenwolf"​ by Hermann Hesse.

FYI: No, I'm not Matt​ Damon. But I'll tell him you said "Hi"​!

​

* Two cheeseburger​s and a Coke, please!

* Does anybody know another word for Thesaurus?

* Please, please, please, don't be like this!​

* Please follow this advice:
​

* Last and (bearing the purpose of this site in mind) certainly not least: Looking for penpals from all over the world, especially from Asia, Africa, South America & Eastern Europe.

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After about a million people asked where the personal messages went... sigh... here are they, moved back from the Notes section to the main page:

A personal message to some stereotypes on Interpals:
* T​hanks​​ for visiting my profile"​​​-posters​:​ You're welcome!
​
* Prematu​re​ Friend Requesters​:​ Find a dictionary. Look up "friend"​​​. Contemplate the meaning of the word. It'll come to you!

* Wal​l spammers​​: Get a life! Get therapy! Get lost!
NOTE:​ You are considered a "Wall spammer"​​​ if you send more than five consecutive messages without giving me time to reply. For me, this basically means I have to click on "Delete"​​​ more than five times, but on "Block"​​​ only once...)
​
* ...and,​​ of course, SCAMMERS​​: Let's have some fun! To make things a little easier for you, just send one of the following codes and I will wire the money right away:
​SCM01​​ - "Oh, my fridge/washi​​​ng machine/TV/i​​​Phone just broke down and I need a new one to freeze/wash/​​​watch/call​ stuff. Oh my darling, if only I had a new fridge/washi​​​ng machine/TV/i​​​Phone, I could be in your arms much faster."​​​
​SCM02​​ - "Police​​​ arrested my brother/stoc​​​k broker/pimp.​​​ I desperately need money to bail him out/bribe the police/have my other pimp arrested, too!"
​SCM​​03​ - "If I had computer, I had webcam, too, darling. And I show you everything me. Please, I need computer because I want see everything you and be long love and good mother for children"​​​.
SCM04​​ - "Oh honey, I want to come to you and hold and hold you. But we don't have airline in Namibia. I can buy german air ticket, but only with german money. Please send <insert ridiculous amount here> to me and I will be yours to hold and love. Cannot wait, my baby everlasting"​​​.
NOTE:​ This might come as a shock to Air​​​ Namibia.​​​ Please let them know they don't exist.
​
(Yes, these are all quotes, slightly altered for comic relief. At least some of the girls are still waiting for their money)

So, please just send one of SCM01-04​​ (give details if necessary) and we'll see how it goes from there! I will marry you only after at least four messages. But I promise to send money after two.

* Movies, books, music (see below)
* Cooking (Italian & Asian)
* Programming
* Philosophy
* Hanging out at cocktail bars & clubs

* The Hives
* Rancid
* Dropkick Murphys (thanks to Raye for reminding me of them!)
* Bob Marley
* Leonard Cohen
* Tom Waits
* Radiohead
* Stereo MCs
* Lou Reed & Velvet Underground
* Kronos Quartet

and, of course, THE MAN:
​

* Vertigo​
* Clerks​
* Eraserhead​
* Mulholland​ Dr.
* Stalker​
* 2046​
* Farewell,​ My Concubine​
* Audition​
* La​ Dolce Vita
* Some​ like it Hot
* Belle​ de Jour
* Requiem​ for a Dream
* Happiness​
* Y​ tu Mamá también
* Gates​ of Heaven
* Hoop​ Dreams
* Grey​ Gardens
...

* Riget (thanks to Erika for reminding me of that one!)
* Sopranos
* Cracker
* The Wire
* House, M.D.
* Weeds
* Six Feet Under
* Lost
* Dexter
* The Simpsons
...

* T.C.​ Boyle - Budding Prospects, Water Music, World's End, ...
* Chuck​ Palahniuk​ - Haunted,​ Survivor, Diary, ...
* Brett​ Easton Ellis - American​ Psycho, Glamourama, Lunar Park, ...
* David​ Foster Wallace - Infinite​ Jest, Consider the Lobster, Infinity​
* Raymond​ Chandler​ - The Big Sleep, The Lady in the Lake, The Long Goodbye​
* Vladimir​ Nabokov - Lolita​
* Fyodor​ Dostoyevsky​ - Crime and Punishment, The Idiot
* Thomas​ Mann - The Magic Mountain, Death in Venice, Felix Krull
* Franz​ Kafka - The Metamorphosi​s, The Castle, The Trial
* Michel​ Houellebecq​ - Atomised,​ Platform, Extension of the Combat Zone
...

"Those who believe in telekinetics​, raise my hand"

"God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through."​
or
"In the beginning, there was Nothing. And God said: 'Let there be light!'. There still was Nothing, but now you could see it a whole lot better."​

"There'​s a very fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."​

"Realit​y is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."​

"Progra​mming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."​

"I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves."​

------------​----------
THE SIMPSONS: (thanks to Sophya for filling the Simpsons gap)
Homer: "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."​­

Homer: [Meeting Aliens] "Please​­ don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"