i don’t talk a lot.
so people call me ::sh​y::​.
maybe i’m just ::aw​kward​::.
i couldn’t find the right words to tell you how i feel… or maybe words aren’t the best to convey what i’m feeling.

i’m sorry for being such a retard. haha… i mean vocabulary​ retard​.

well, for one thing, i apologize a lot.
yes, i’m ::in​secure​::- i don’t necessarily have the most love for myself.
but that doesn’t mean i lower myself to the point​ of being inferior​ to others.
my frequent apologies are ::ho​nest​::... and polite.
you know… not everybody has all the chance​ in the world​ to apologize for the mistakes they had unwillingly made, and to thank those around them for showing so much kindness till the ::po​int of flattery​::.

i’m not ::la​bel positive​::.

i’m only Emo,​ as i like to listen to soppy love songs when i’m down and out.
a possible ::ho​peless romantic​::.
and can be ::em​otionally- charged​::.
it stays only there though.
i can be ::co​ld:​:.
numb​ing out the pain can be good- as to function, and smile…
“Everything’​s allright.”

am i an ::in​tellectual​::?
i’ve never really considered myself one.
though i think​ a lot.
and ::dr​eam​:: a lot.
maybe i'm just being ::im​aginative​::.

am i ::ch​ildish​::?
are​ you childish?​
i know dreaming can be a childish​ pastime​…
but doesn’t our imagination​ come from our ::in​ner child​::?
okay, this sounds familiar… did Einstein say this? oops, i had forgotten...​ again…

am i the ::bo​y- next- door​:: your mum so rave about?
yeah, i don’t​ drink or smoke or f*** around​.
but, i’m high- maintenance-​ I can be mentally-​ draining​ if I latched on you.
but, yeah… but again… i’ll ::ro​cket to the moon​:: if you’ll ever need me to.
having said that, you might think i care a lot about friendships​.
well, i used​ to… but don’t seem to be able now…
i felt ::dr​ained​::, that’s all…
so… hey! maybe they have latched on me instead.

i love ::ra​iny days​::.
i love those ::li​ttle things in life​:: most people​ fail to appreciate​.
i heart​… i mean love ::an​imals​::.

and the rest…

well, the rest will be when we have our destinies​ ::cl​ashed​:: together​.

haha, does that scare you?

​
* Excerpt from Craig Thompson's Blankets​ *
* I feel you, Craig. U__U *


"he​llo. damon's unavailable at the moment. he's currently having an erratic personality phase... please leave your message after the beep..."​

*beep...*

::gosh! i can't believe i have actually wrote that about myself... ^__^' well, i'm in fact still having depression- i thought i was cured... but it came back eventually..​. my point is- i wanted to describe myself more in depth here, but having depression makes me rather unstable... like an amoeba! @__@... oh well...::

::here's just to say i'm sorry to friends i've made here- if only a while, those whose profiles i've viewed- not for the fun of it, more for thinking how interesting you might be... and everyone else that i've missed, for being ignorant and unresponsive​ and out- of- reach... you'll get it! >__<"​::

::is my sole reason for living to cause unnecessary suffering??:​:

*ah, yes... just to let those obsessive critical freaks of grammatical/​ vocabulary mistakes know... i'm constantly editing my profile out of those accidental errors. Please don't ever misjudge me, or deflate my already over- deflated ego over this matter... T__T

*[[WAR​NING​]] notice i had not checked romance/ flirting and a relationship​ boxes in the looking for section in my profile... coz i'm seriously not wanting to have one... yet...! so don't make me... or... ... ... [you don't need to progress further here to understand..​. ;D]*



*** don't be surprised- i'm back in malaysia! :D :D :D ***

generally no preference, but HOPEfully somebody able to forge REAL FRIENDships.​..

...

... 'cause i have loads to learn from those who can... :)

::​ART​::​

::​PEOPLE​::​

::​LIFE​::​


____________​____________​____________​____________​_________
* * * * *                                                                                      * * * * *
This site is dammit addicting, I kept coming back and lurk... despite having school work to finish! :D
Anyways, this section is especially reserved for the amazingly great people you should be friends with too!

* TheMar​: Mariah, but known to most as Mar. She's one of Interpals' gem, as I seldom meet a person with her background, so serious in wanting to forge real friendships.​ Yes, she's my famous Wifey- but I hardly knew her, dammit! U__U I'm hoping this would change sooner... or later. Till death do us part. Ha! :D
* Elektro_Boi​: Seth, my partial online and penpal- ing buddy. The only person I can talk and relate to, despite being miles yards depths apart. :)
* Spy_vs_spy​: Matthew. Still quite a mystery. We had ups and downs, but overall I find him an interestingl​y interesting person, which I can sometimes relate to. One of the few genuine ones around.
* Openhearts​: Sara. My only offline friend in this site. I admire how she managed to keep her older friendships,​ though she doesn't actually see those friends anymore. One obvious thing that binds us- Germany/ Bayern Munich! I see Lahm in you! And, Schweini too! Ha!
* KitKat22​: Kayla. An extremely nice person, and we have loads in common.
* Freakzilled​: As odd as it seems, I enjoy talking to you.
* Ashe209​: Mouang. I called her Ashe though, because her real name's too hard to spell. The only popular real sane person in the chat.
*___​__King_Ahole​: Clark. I used to have a bad impression on this dude, here. Sorry for the misinterpret​ation. Also one of the very rare ones around. Try to get around his way, and you'd be surprised to who he actually is. Beware though, he's also a hacker/ com expert/ whatever- pick an unnecessary fight with him, and prepared to be revealed, you fakie! And, yeah- he's Wifey's BFF here, I think. Oh, I'm having a threat... Heeheehaha!
* Maucho​: Mauricio. Part of no crowd, popular with everyone.
* Boy4rmdanor​th:​ Chad. 100 % perverted, or so it seems. This is the only pure white I know without judgmental tendencies.
* I_am_not_he​re:​ Krupa. Surprisingly​ I can actually talk to her, though we just met that time.
* Kate199326​- Kate. And I thought she's really swooning over the chatroom blokes! Sorry, Kate! ^__^" My bad.
* Bubs77​: Tanai. My country bumpkin Idol hopeful friend. She's pretty, so she has d*** perverts bookmarking her. Too bad she doesn't like blokes who are players, users and total losers?? Ha.
* Baby321​: Charity. A good girl offline, but a total w**** in the chatroom. I used to dislike her, but she's too charming to continue disliking. Sorry, Charity.
* Starsailor2​10:​ Eric. An ABC. Supernerd. Hai hai bloke. "I totally owned that final today".​ I wish I'm as attentive in my studies as you are!
* You_suffer4​151​: Corey, but I preferred to just call him CJ [based on his old username]. Smoker. Gamer- actually orgasms over a game. Headbanger. Used to be seemingly annoying in the chat... Has decided to be mature for his 18 years of living. A man of this world.
* Hailno​: Halena. Hawaiian bloke first, American second. Humorous, and intelligent-​ also a rare breed.
* Dylan514​: Dylan. I'm not sure why he isn't here anymore, but he can hold a real convo- which you seldom can find in most people.
* Appleton​: Kate. She misspelled me as Diso way too often. Ha. She's also one of the nice sane ones around. Too bad she didn't stay long enough to create a legacy, like Ashe!
* Armada​: Kang. Currently doing military service. Once I get to know you better, we'll watch footie live together, okay?

Obviously, I missed a few more people. Sorry ladies. Sorry blokes. I'll update... Once I get to know you better. How about that?? :D :D :D

ALTERNATIVE/​ INDIE. BRITpop. PSYCHedelic.​ ELECTRO. FUNK. INSTRUMENTAL​/ ACOUSTIC/ LIVE.

those were the music i'd usually listen to- besides artists/ musicians who really enjoy what they're doing, and has worked their a**es off to get where they are today.


::sounds of::

BLUR
GORILLAZ
MEW
COLDPLAY
the STROKES
FALL OUT BOY
ARCTIC MONKEYS
COHEED AND CAMBRIA
AEROSMITH
EVANESCENCE
MANIC STREET PREACHERS
BLACK EYED PEAS
DAFT PUNK
THE CLICK FIVE
OASIS
LINKIN PARK
JET
OAG
MIKA
KANYE WEST
JAMES MORISSON
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
JASON LO
AMY WINEHOUSE
FERGIE
DUFFY


IRIS GOO GOO DOLLS​
*personal fav emotive song*

LEAVING on a JET PLANE
*leaving on a plane song*

SONG 2 BLUR​
*when i feel heavy metal- i think i need to get my head checked song*

WE ARE the CHAMPIONS
WE WILL ROCK YOU           QUEEN​
*strive for your dreams songs*

THE PIECES DON'T FIT ANYMORE JAMES​ MORRISON​
*it's time to surrender- it's been too long pretending- just leave me now song*

WHAT GOES AROUND... COMES AROUND JUSTIN​ TIMBERLAKE​
*what you did to me [or, anyone else...], is going around back to you!*

:D

the LORD of the RINGS trilogy
STAR WARS trilogy
STAR WARS trilogy CLASSIC
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS​
CHARLIE and the CHOCOLATE FACTORY
CORPSE BRIDE
HAPPY FEET


:: movies i've missed, which i would like to watch given the chance! ::

MOULIN ROUGE
V for VENDETTA
SWEENEY TODD: the DEMON BARBER of FLEET STREET
BOYS don't CRY
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
HAIRSPRAY
I AM LEGEND
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
HANNIBAL RISING
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS of AMERICA for MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION of KAZAKHSTAN

:: just finished watching- and will watch when it's on again! ::

UEFA EURO [though only supporting Germany​ wholehearted​ly. i see myself in Ballack. i see myself in Klose. i see myself in Schweini. need i say more?? :D (sorry for the lack of personality in that fanfare! c' mon! this is football season, dammit! *winks*)]

​

​

I told them not to feel down. Yes, we lost the final and that's a disappointme​nt for us all, but the fact we made it to the final is an achievement in itself.​

For us, it's a success to reach the final and we're going to go on working and fighting.​

   - Germany​ coach JOACHIM​ LOEW​

​
* And we, Germany​ fans, will NEVER stop fighting too- as this will soon happen... again! :) *

​

​

​
* Germany​'s best goals [and moments!] at UEFA EURO 2008™ *

​
* Congrats Spain​- you did superbly terrific! *

:: currently watching::

MYTHBUSTERS
CELEBRITY APPRENTICE
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

:: used to watch, but couldn't anymore ::

german BUNDESLIGA
HOW IT's MADE
AMERICA's NEXT TOP MODEL
LOST
SUPERNATURAL​

:: finished watching ::

the APPRENTICE
the APPRENTICE- LOS ANGELES

:: going to watch whenever they're on ::

FIFA [and yeah, only supporting Germany​ wholehearted​ly...! :P]

basically anything READable, and DIGESTable?

especially non-​ fiction​


* i read ANYTHING- children's books, men's magazines, women's magazines, nerds' magazines, fact over fiction magazines, the daily papers, books about psychology, art, biography of famous figures... the thicker and bulkier the better!... EXCEPT novels! fiction novels! i can barely finish a page! ha... ;)

HAVE a NICE LIFE of MEDIOCRITY, FRY COOK! LE SPATULA​ of SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.​

The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for white or women created for men. ALICE​ WALKER​, Pulitzer prize- winning author.