Good news everyone! You've found Matt's page.

I love to make people laugh, I try and find humor in every subject. If anyone I know is having a bad day or they are feeling down, I make sure that whatever time they have spent with me at least 90% of that time they have a smile on their face.

Anyone is fine except creepy old dudes with rapist glasses or pedophile beards. Or both. Go here for more details:

http://www.​break.com/in​dex/pedophil​e-beards.htm​l

If you look at my profile please post your favorite movie or a good movie you have seen recently.

I spend most of my free time keeping up with the wide world of American spectator sports. I am a huge baseball fan and I enjoy the NFL as well as the NBA.

I play the occasional video game every once in a while with my best buddy who is also named Matt.

Some other things I enjoy are hanging out with my co-worker Jessica and her friends at our really cool coffee shop downtown, playing a nice round of golf, and volunteering​ at a local elementary school two days a week.

Watching Lasagna Cat videos. (Priceless)
http://www.​lasagnacat.c​om/

I also try and go to the gym every day, it's becoming my new favorite thing to do.

Adventure Time

Give me 80's or give me death!

Until a better Christian Bale movie comes out, 3:10 to Yuma is my favorite movie. Everything else is interchangea​ble.

3:10 to Yuma
American Psycho
Major League
The Sting
The Prestige
Harsh Times
Batman Begins
The Machinist
Newsies
Wall Street
Happy Gilmore
Flight of the Navigator
X-Files: Fight the Future
Three Kings
Ghostbusters​
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Best in Show
The Sandlot
The Hudsucker Proxy
Naked Gun
American Splendor
Ducktales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp
Top Secret
Groundhog Day
Half Baked
Coming to America
To Kill a Mockingbird
Devil's Rejects
House of 1000 Corpses
Halloween (2007)
Blow
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Kramer Vs. Kramer
Big
12 Angry Men
Howl's Moving Castle
The Goonies
Batman (1989)
House of D
Back to the Future
Trainspottin​g
30 Days of Night
The Great Mouse Detective
No Country for Old Men
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Pee Wee's Big Adventure
The Shining (1980)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Muppets Take Manhattan
Cliff Hanger
Reservoir Dogs
Money For Nothing
Dead Alive
Space Jam
Stand by Me
Night of the Living Dead
Dawn of the Dead (1975)
The Warriors
The Brave Little Toaster
Transformers​: The Movie (1986)
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Eight Men Out
The Graduate
Planet Terror
War Games
My Neighbor Totoro
Uncle Buck
Clue
All the President's Men
Amadeus
Spaceballs
Rocky III
Death Race 2000
Idiocracy
Supercop
Ed Wood
She Wore a Yellow Ribbon
Dead and Breakfast
Die Hard
Chariots of Fire
Stranger than Fiction
Johnny Dangerously
Diner
Chicago Cab
Shaft (2000)
Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai
Harvey
Ruthless People
Sahara (1943)
Three Ninjas
Masters of the Universe
The Orphanage

Anything on ESPN, Futurama, The Wire, Arrested Development,​ Top Gear, Six Feet Under, X-Files, Ducktales, Quantum Leap, 24, and others...

I am America and so can you!

The Road

Freakonomics​

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Anything by Stephen King

Where's Waldo

I hate posses.

Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in twenty minutes.

What was I supposed to do - call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others?

Well, dat's da foist thing ya gotta learn - headlines don't sell papes. Newsies sell papes.

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed -- for lack of a better word -- is good. Greed is right. Greed works.Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary​ spirit. Greed, in all of its forms -- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed -- you mark my words -- will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioni​ng corporation called the USA.

Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so.

Maybe we should call in a bomb threat to Houston. I think it's free beer night at the Astrodome.

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"

Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!

You're killing me Smalls! These are s'more's stuff! Alrite now pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallows flaming... you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good!

You know, for kids.

It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Somebody stop those pants!

If they find out you've seen this, your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...

Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows​, the little marshmallows​ and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.

Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

Baltimore? That's like being hit in the head with a crow bar once a day.

Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-​huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog, what's Goofy?

I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automaticall​y, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.

Don't put it in your pocket, sir. Don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter.