Trying to describe myself in a box is like asking for world peace, i.e. impossible. So feel free to ask me anything. But here goes.

Is there anything I won't do? I think it's pretty obvious not. I'm shameless. I don't care what...I'll tie a monkey to my waste and run around. I'll do it.  IF the price is right. One time I ran naked through a bowling alley for 3 dollars and I earned it! Have you ever spit on animals at the zoo? Lost your keys down a toilet? Hey I can be bought! Ever give a midget a massage? I have....23 dollars.

Yes, I will marry you without ever haven spoken a word. Who cares about having anything in common. Right? I've seen You Got Mail, I know its real,  so lets skip the theatrics and platitudes and lets just get to the sex immediately por favor!

Yes, I can provide you with Visas. Let me just warm up my Epson Ink Jet 8500 and lets make the magic happen. Only problem is your new name will have to be McLovin from Hawaii. Any problems if I put you down as an organ donor?

Yes, I can and will provide with any amount of money you desire. After all I am filthy stinking rich. All that I ask is that you take pictures of yourself waiting by the mail blindfolded without a shirt and with a sign draped over you neck with the word "gullible"​ written in large black san script font for no less than 6 consecutive days. I promise then I will send it!

Hoping George W Bush drowns in a pool of oil...Anythi​ng fundamentall​y sound.

Things...lot​s of things.

The Good Kind.

Changes like the weather.

The Wire is the best TV show ever made. period. .

The one I am writing.

"The tactics of fictive persuasion have nothing to do with reasoned discourse"​ - David Milch

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous"​