Have you ever been so afraid to do something that you convince yourself that you can't? That is what I did all my life...I was so convinced I couldn't talk freely on the phone that I usually don't...
But I met someone and his texting stopped working...So​, the only way I could contact him was to call him. It took days for me to muster up the courage to do so...But on Friday night I did call him and was about to leave him a voicemail...​Then I heard, " Hello?"​ My first instinct was to hang up, my hands were shaking so badly. But I was no coward...I said Hi back and we had a nice conversation​ until my phone died...I called him last night again and I feel more relaxed...Wh​atever was I afraid of?

When everything was brought into the new house and night came, Tristan was awakened by a noise. But when he opened his eyes, the dark room was still and silent.
He gazed around in confusion, wondering what had awakened him so suddenly. The moon cast shadows on the semi packed boxes that were shoved in a corner. Suddenly there was movement there and Tristan leaned forward to see what it was.
A girl came out of the shadows, behind the boxes, gasping and shaking. She had dark hair like him and same eyes when she reluctantly looked up at him. he lifted himself from the bed and stepped closer to her, ever so slowly.
" Are you alright?"​ he whispered. he took a step closer still until he saw those familiar eyes and pale alabaster skin.
She cringed back from him, as though afraid, and then forced a trembling smile. But her eyes, large and haunted, betrayed her. She was muddy and soaking wet, trembling uncontrollab​ly. Then she wrapped her chilled fingers around his arms and gasped desperately,​ " Tristan...Tr​istan, help me!"
Sitting up with a jolt, he looked around the room, confused. he looked toward the boxes and he had mixed emotions when he didn't find the girl hiding behind them. he was relieved she wasn't suffering and ice cold, but disappointed​ that she wasn't real.
Tristan remembered that the girl had touched his skin and hurried to the bathroom, flicking on the switch. he looked down at his arms and whimpered when he saw faint fingerprints​ imprinted on them.......

When darkness follows
No light in sight
Sometimes you feel hollow
and the world is in black and white

When you want to hide
When you want to scream
When you want to cry
Nothing is what it seems

darkness envelopes
strangling your love
When it seems there is no hope
and you seek help from above

The light comes in
like a breath of fresh air
It caresses your skin
and flows through your hair

The light courses through you
Warming you inside
Something feels new
And someday you will smile wide

Like a fragile dove
I fly
without a care
or questions of why

They thought me lovely
They thought me pure
Now in their eyes I am ugly
Their smiles were no more

White as snow
Pure as day
I was a pretty dove
Now covered in gray

They poisoned me with their words
Their eyes bright no more
Once I cured their hurt
But now they are not so sure

Like a pure white dove
I wish I was
Flying freely above
Those who smiled with love

A pure white dove
am i
Again white as snow
Seeing the twinkle in their eye

They say i am beautiful once more
A treasured gift
no ill will they bore
Their hearts do lift

Like a fragile dove
I fly
without a care
or questions of why

What do you see
when you turn your eyes
What do you see
When you see me

I have lost my soul
Have you seen it
My skin is so cold
How can I warm it

Laughing eyes
gentle smile
lover of life
That was me for awhile

Childish ways
So innocent
memories stay
of sorrow and merriment

Where is my soul
Have you seen it
Here it is so old
Many emotions have persued it

What do you see
When you see beauty
What do you see
when you see me

Flowing on the wind
the scent of you
back when my life was never dim
or different shades of blue

The scent of you
still haunts me
old things seem new
touching your possessions it is you I see

It is your scent
that makes me wonder
why is your image so fluent
and lock me into the spell I'm under

Your scent lingers
every where I go
I swear I can feel your fingers
they were always gentle and slow

People always look at me
with sadness and pity
But sometimes it is you I see
and this life so gray is so pretty

It is not only your scent
It is your smile
it is the warmth you always leant
and the passion we had for awhile

it was the way you touched me
It was the the way we talked
It was only me you see
it was the way we cuddled and walked

Your scent is starting to fade
Like a gentle breeze
but you always have your ways
to stay with me

He goes on business trips
She stays home
He wonders how it had gotten to this
and she is very alone

He takes care of the bills
She plays happy wife
and takes care of the kids
and believe the happy ever after lie

An affair never crosses his mind
Because he loves her so
any entertainmen​t she can find
for the emotions not to show

He thought her a conquest
She thought him as her prince
He wanted her ever since they met
and she was flittering as the wind

The engagement was a lovely affair
The marriage was a tryst
Many years without a care
Some years that they missed

When the kids came
there was no more us
they thought it would remain the same
No one expected the lack of trust

She remained beautiful
He was jealous
She was never mindful
that he missed the US

They had a big fight
Luckily the kids were gone
for the night
So they wouldn't wake someone

There was shouts
and crying too
Many years of doubts
They ended the night with I Love You

He is with me
every single day
He always talks to me
Makes me happy in every way

He is handsome
his smile is enigmatic
His appearance was winsome
and his eyes twinkle like magic

He is a comfort
He was my rock
Hours of building a secret fort
and late nights of endless talk

I never knew what he did
or where he was from
What he was like a kid
Or even if he was one

Through out the years
He stayed young
He always stayed near
when I had no one

People started to whisper
she is just a kid
But my friend was always happy, a good listener
Until I realized he didn't exist, he never did

Late in the dark
You awake me
Your touch is so stark
Just a brush excites me

Your fingers on my flesh
makes me flutter inside
Everytime we mesh
The quiver is hard to hide

Your mouth on my skin
your whispered commands
What you do feels like sin
As you wonder with your hands

Sweat covered bodies
The moon glistening bright
As you move above me, your body held tautly
You give me what I crave and want all night

Begging for more
never in defeat
Your voice that lores
burning me with such heat

Your breathing come in gasps
our bodies tremble with delight
I kiss you, wishing it will last
As you take me up in your flight

We slow our pace
skin brushing against skin
I look at your face
and you smile on a whim

My sweet one
How I worship thee
even alone
I sense you with me

Your touch
your kiss
it wasn't enough
and what I have missed

Every lingering caress
Every possessive looks you had
the moment you saw me undress
Now it seems ghosts of the past

The whispered words
The dark stormy nights
The moments you made me burn
In the dark or the early morning light

But now I only have
dreams of you
memories that last
of the most loving man I ever knew