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sariah_812
New Viruses On The Loose!!
3:32am
GMT on March 1, 2009
Oprah Winfrey virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Politically Correct virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order virus:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Federal Bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Texas virus:
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional virus:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline virus:
You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own motherboard.
Public Television virus:
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Nike virus:
Just does it.
Congressional virus #2:
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Star Trek virus:
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Health Care virus:
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Politically Correct virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order virus:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Federal Bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Texas virus:
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional virus:
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline virus:
You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own motherboard.
Public Television virus:
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Nike virus:
Just does it.
Congressional virus #2:
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Star Trek virus:
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Health Care virus:
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
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A Vengeful Soul (A poem I wrote for english lit in relation to Shakespeare's Hamlet)
3:07am
GMT on December 27, 2008
It has been seen but times before,
Its presence chills the bone.
The soul is troubled and can not rest,
It speaks in a dry worn tone.
It roams the dark and lonely nights,
A spirit not to sleep.
It is doomed to suffer the flames of hell,
In day is heard no peep.
The eyes are deep and cold as ice,
As they flash through the darkening sky.
Armored and dressed as the last day spent,
Before it was time to die.
Vengeance is its only goal,
To give what they deserve.
One too sly to be called a brother,
A place in misery the soul did reserve.
One who is kin and thought to be trusted,
Is only a betrayer of his friend.
Oh he stole the women for lustful desires,
Sins that will bring his end.
This spirit doesn’t forget the look of its killer,
As he stood there a smiling demon.
He did not hesitate not even a moment,
Not even to consider the reason.
A soul is rendered to the burning furnace,
It can not escape the heat.
But the dear old brother’s time shall come,
When he must surrender to the defeat.
Its presence chills the bone.
The soul is troubled and can not rest,
It speaks in a dry worn tone.
It roams the dark and lonely nights,
A spirit not to sleep.
It is doomed to suffer the flames of hell,
In day is heard no peep.
The eyes are deep and cold as ice,
As they flash through the darkening sky.
Armored and dressed as the last day spent,
Before it was time to die.
Vengeance is its only goal,
To give what they deserve.
One too sly to be called a brother,
A place in misery the soul did reserve.
One who is kin and thought to be trusted,
Is only a betrayer of his friend.
Oh he stole the women for lustful desires,
Sins that will bring his end.
This spirit doesn’t forget the look of its killer,
As he stood there a smiling demon.
He did not hesitate not even a moment,
Not even to consider the reason.
A soul is rendered to the burning furnace,
It can not escape the heat.
But the dear old brother’s time shall come,
When he must surrender to the defeat.
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