ChrisShiva wrote:

I think it's really cool that you are able to do this Katie. I've never been married before. But I am still on friendly terms with pretty much all my ex-gfs, including the one from 5th grade. I think it's a shame that so many people leave relationships with hard feelings about lying, cheating and the other bad things that have been done to them. I guess I've just been lucky to have been with mostly nice people and it sounds like the same with you. As long as your husband is ok with you having your ex hubby as a best friend then that's what matters. Of course, others might gossip and judge but who cares. It's your life and you should live it how you want to.

Thank You for Your support Chris.
The fact of the matter is that IF my husband should oppose of my best friend, whomever it might be, I am that kind of a woman I'd seriously dump the husband before loosing my best friend. Real deep friendship is so rare to find these days, the one that does not judge You, but supports You in every which way.

ChrisShiva wrote:

I think it's really cool that you are able to do this Katie. I've never been married before. But I am still on friendly terms with pretty much all my ex-gfs, including the one from 5th grade. I think it's a shame that so many people leave relationships with hard feelings about lying, cheating and the other bad things that have been done to them. I guess I've just been lucky to have been with mostly nice people and it sounds like the same with you. As long as your husband is ok with you having your ex hubby as a best friend then that's what matters. Of course, others might gossip and judge but who cares. It's your life and you should live it how you want to.

The ones that know Katie (like I) We would never gossip or judge her (not saying you said us) - who cares what the others think?? Katie

cheryl4444 wrote:

ChrisShiva wrote: I think it's really cool that you are able to do this Katie. I've never been married before. But I am still on friendly terms with pretty much all my ex-gfs, including the one from 5th grade. I think it's a shame that so many people leave relationships with hard feelings about lying, cheating and the other bad things that have been done to them. I guess I've just been lucky to have been with mostly nice people and it sounds like the same with you. As long as your husband is ok with you having your ex hubby as a best friend then that's what matters. Of course, others might gossip and judge but who cares. It's your life and you should live it how you want to. The ones that know Katie (like I) We would never gossip or judge her (not saying you said us) - who cares what the others think?? Katie

Thank You Cheryl.

Labolina wrote:

Catmania wrote: cheryl4444 wrote: It's great you have that. Me? I'd rather run him over than be in the same room - too many horrible memories about how he treated me & the kids, sadly. And how even to this day he's a total tool when it comes to the kids. Unfortunately, same about me....I cannot respect the person who never cared of his own son (just wished to participate in the ceremony when my son was given a national prize in the English contest but my son refused to see him around saying he wanted to thank mum and he wanted mum who deserves being thanked to feel proud of him) I cannot respect the one who used psychological, monetary abuse on me and my kid, who disrespected my parents.. So I could never be a friend to my ex but cool Labolina can be! @ Cats My ex do not do that to me. We also have history, of course we do. But it's been many years now, and we have still that understanding of eachother, the knowing who You are, You know? As best friends do. Think of any friend You are real close to, anyone that is of the same sex. Then transfer that to the opposite sex. And to beeing the one that knows You the worst, the best, the deepest, the most embarrassing You ever been through...And that person still loves You... Would You let that go? Cuz society does not believe that exist? I wont But it is still hard. I want to know how You all deal with this.

I think anything in life can happen, sometimes unexpected things and this is an interesting thing and why not stay friends if possible even best friends? You both have your own life and in this case it is possible to stay friends. Of course, sometimes society judges people and it gets hard. I was in such a situation - my ex bf later married my friend...first it was weird for us all but as she has been my friend since childhood, even this situation was ok for us. now they got divorced (he has never deserved her, anyway, being irresponsible and light minded about serious issues) and I try to avoid teaching her like 'hmmm I knew he was not the right guy'. some people mocked at us. I sure disliked my ex her hubby because I knew the way he was but we never found it a big deal to have coffee together...

My parents are still good together after their divorce, friendly but not best friends and I would like that for me too but best friends.... mmmm not so much.

Hubby's parents are currently divorcing and although he's all grown and out of the house their constant bickering is killing him.

I think it depends on how the marriage/relationship went.....

@Labolina you inspire me....

I think it is important to stay civil if you have kids but only if both parents are real parents that love their kids and do what is best for them.

Ladypsa wrote:

My parents are still good together after their divorce, friendly but not best friends and I would like that for me too but best friends.... mmmm not so much. Hubby's parents are currently divorcing and although he's all grown and out of the house their constant bickering is killing him. I think it depends on how the marriage/relationship went..... @Labolina you inspire me.... I think it is important to stay civil if you have kids but only if both parents are real parents that love their kids and do what is best for them.

I'm with you on this one Ladypsa. I have remained friends with my most serious ex gf prior to meeting my wife. But sometimes when we communicate I'm reminded of the personal differences that led to our breakup. So yeah friendly but not best friends and thank goodness we never got married.

hi, question, if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel? my ex-wife hated if i was talking too, or joking with any female, whether it be a work do or a store clerk making small chit chat during a sale, she even made me lose my friends both female and male when we got married, it never bothered me which genre her friends were, so i put the question to you again if your new hubby was best mates with his ex and had the same type of relationship that you're experiencing how would you feel, i'm not trying to dampen what you have just playind devil's advocate

tazmon wrote:

hi, question, if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel? my ex-wife hated if i was talking too, or joking with any female, whether it be a work do or a store clerk making small chit chat during a sale, she even made me lose my friends both female and male when we got married, it never bothered me which genre her friends were, so i put the question to you again if your new hubby was best mates with his ex and had the same type of relationship that you're experiencing how would you feel, i'm not trying to dampen what you have just playind devil's advocate

Well, that would be just fine by me. As I do believe that if there is jealousy that strong that Your mate chooses Your friends for You, there is something deeply wrong with the relationship. And the solution would not be dumping Your friend/s. The problem runs much deeper than that it seems to me.

If there is not trust in a relationship to accept the partner interacting with the opposite sex, the relationship needs to be worked on. Seriously worked on. Imho.

thanks for the reply, so long as people are happy thats great, i guest i never get jealous or worried who my partner hangs with as i trust and respect them to be open and honest as i am, just it is never the case, but good on you for having such a workable relationship with both parties, it's something to aspire to have[img][/img]

I don't really have an ex but I am still on friendly terms with several ladies who have rejected me in the past. One of them has even provided me with some advice for other romantic encounters.