Fat git with few teeth and stinky breath. Over the hill and drained beyond all help. My only hope is finding a 30-50 something nymphomaniac​ with a huge personal fortune and no relatives.
I'm fairly honestish.  No ambitions. Bored with life. Broke and broken.
Update: just had an MI, so even more broken now.

I want to know all about your cat. My cat is invisible.  It's more than just a cat of course, it's a bloody psychosis. It comes to see me every few days and is very friendly and pleased to see me. It rarely needs feeding, but could do with a bath. But couldn't we all?

WHELKS. Goats. Rocks, dog beds, imaginary cats. I quite like women, but I'm not sure what to do with them. Too old and knackered for sex anyway. So stop asking.

In my spare time I'm a Fat Bastard for England. (3rd dan)

I'm VERY interested in STRING.

Electro-lati​no post-modern pastiches with strong jazz/funk fusion tendancies. Or anything sung by a nice looking babe with big boobs.

If I listed any artists that I like, I'd also have to include them in the list of artists I dislike.

Currently listening to:
Phi Nhung, Ha Vy, Gregorian, Han Hong, Linzi Stoppard, Fuse, Aaron Copeland, Guesch Patti, KLF, Celtic Woman, Electric Ladies, Mike Oldfield, Sash!
Weird scenes in the Goatmine.
In the bleat midwinter
Waiting for a goat like you
Fanfare for the Common Goat

The Wicker Man. (original)
The Lion in Winter
Miracle on 34th Street (original)
Casino Royale (original)
Get Carter (original)
Phase 4.
This is Spinal Tap.
Walkabout
The Searchers
Our Man Flint
Bladerunner (original cut)
One Milion Years BC / Man and His Mate
Carry on Screaming
Carry on Up the Kyber
anything by David Lynch, Jurgen Haabermaaste​r, Paul Verhoeven.
Goatbusters
David and Goatliath
Goatfinger
Faster Pussycat, Goat Goat!
Goat West!
Goatman Returns
The Goat Collector
2001, A Goat Odessey
The Goatminer's Daughter
The Goat of Oz
Escape from Goat Mountain
The Goat of the Sierra Mardre
Planet of the Goats
Escape from Planet of the Goats
Return to Planet of the Goats
20,000 Goats Under The Sea
Ice Station Goat
It's a Goat Goat Goat Goat World
Snow White and the Seven Goats
Indiana Jones and the Goats of Doom
Star Goats
Night of the Goat
Day of the Goat
King Goat
Thundergoat
Goat Story
It's a Wonderful Goat
The Red Goats
North by North Goat
Goat Planet
Attack of the Killer Goats
Goat vs Goat
Good Morning Goat
On Goat Pond
Billy The Kid
Baaaa nanas
Goats With Dirty Faces
El Goat
Goat Christmas
Dr Goatlove
GT
The Six goats of Henry the Eigth
To Kill a Mockinggoat
Supergoat
Goat tell it on the Mountain (thanks x)
Journey to the Centre of The Goat
Mary Goatins (a new nanny livens up the family)
The Sound of Goats
My Fair Goat
The Goats of Navarone
Full Metal Goat
The Invisible Goat
Dr Jekyll and Mr Goat
Goatablanca
Field of Goats
Mission Goatissible.​
The Goats of Katie Elder
Attack of the 60 Foot Goat
The Goats of Iwo Jima
Murders of the Rue Goat
African Goat
I Was A Teenage Goat
Goat Madness
Back to The Goat
The Goat Who Shot Liberty Valance
Goatworld (a particular favourite)
The Amazing Adventures of Baron von Goathausen
Goatie Does Dallas (adult)
Goat Squadron
Goat of Eden
Goat Farm
Horn Free
Goat Kong (better than Donkey Kong)

QI; Wainwright Walks/Railwa​y Walks with Julia Bradbury;
Sledge Hammer; Time team (if Carenza Lewis is in it); Sky at Night;
Landscape mysteries
Comic Strip
MPFC
Qn
Anything with Bill Bailey in it.
Steptoe and Son (it hits a nerve)
That Mitchell and Webb Look
Rising damp
The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin

The Highway Code.  Mainly for the erotic subtext.
Surely you must be joking, Mr Feynman.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Tarka the Otter.
Far from the Madding Crowd.
Far from the Madding Goats.
Tess of the d'Urbergoats​.
Moby Goat
Wuthering Goats
Lady Chatterly's Goat
Tarka the Goat
Goat and Juliet
A Tale of Two Goats

If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, shoot it till it does.
Death is your body's way of telling you to slow down.

If you don't spend 5 hours a day, every day, banging your head against the wall, you haven't really appreciated in what a dire situation we have landed in.