i live in extremes, crises. obsessions and passions. this might eventually kill me, if i weren't a control maniac at the same time. now imagine my inner turmoil. i do love the macabre, have an uncanny gift for self-destruction and self-sabotage. some call me eccentric and cynic, but I am a simple girl who enjoys gin and any high i can get. 

i wear black on the outside, because black is how i feel on the inside. i do not believe in hair brushes. black tights are my signature. big black glasses to hide both my sobriety and my drunkenness.

give me pain, give me fire - do not bore me

people with braincells. people with passions. dullness is not tolerated. humour, preferably black and politically incorrect. sarcasm/irony. people obsessed with the written word in any way.

do not annoy me with dull questions about this so-called country of mine. i could not care any less. check wikipedia.

oh and please don't "hey babe" me.

art - in all its forms. writing. reading; stories, poems, letters, books, plays - anything.

languages, veganism (not in a militant style though), tattoos, japanese street style because it is crazy and unique, baudelaire, gareth pugh, e. gorey and his kookiness, new york city/brooklyn, menthol fags, modigliani, pre-raphaelites, helena bonham carter, symbolism and expressionism (schiele, rops, munch, khnopff, waterhouse, millais, bacon, chagall, schwabe, von stuck, der blaue reiter, spilliaert), vivienne westwood, comme des garçons, john willie, gloomy bears, niche perfumes, ugly vintage furbys, kitsune (masks), pins

post-punk+++indie+++witch house+++opera+++punk+++early new wave+++glam+++electronic+++shoegaze+++experimental+++electro clash+++trip-hop+++coldwave

depeche mode, nico, soap&skin, pj harvey, (early) roxy music, NIN, pulp, qotsa, sneaker pimps / iamx, editors, placebo, (early) inxs, savages, l.cohen, salem, fugees, the cramps, tom waits, nick cave & the bad seeds, the birthday party, e. smith, b. holiday, k. bush, morrissey/the smiths, suede, the clash, siouxsie & the banshees, the cure, the velvet underground, sonic youth, the slits, the raincoats, noir désir, saez, wagner, zola jesus

favourite directors: kaurismäki, haneke, von trier, noé, lynch, (some) fincher, cronenberg, kubrick, w. anderson, p t anderson, kieslowski, truffaut, bertolucci, jarmusch, antonioni etc.

black books, twin peaks, seinfeld, monty python's flying circus,  californication, early weeds, episodes, that mitchell and webb look, peep show, game of thrones, true detective
i am guilty of watching too many bad netflix shows too.

satire; british/irish/scottish humour (contemporary ones: c. brooker, d. mitchell, d. moran, b. conolly) ; (american) political comedians: j. stewart, l. black, g. carlin
i also love the german comedians loriot and h. schmidt

the written word is what matters most to me.

books that are the axe to the frozen sea inside me: (in no particular order)
les fleurs du mal - baudelaire
love is a dog from hell - bukowski
live or die - sexton
a poet in new york - lorca
the book of folly - sexton
on the road - kerouac
the book of disquiet - pessoa
un amour de swann - proust
burning in water, drowning in flame - bukowski
what matters most is how well you walk through the fire - bukowski
collected works -  auden
stiller - max frisch
women in love - lawrence
das schloss - kafka
die klavierspielerin - jelinek
lolita - nabokov
the master and margarita - bulgakov
a single man - isherwood
die verwandlung - kafka
faust - goethe
everyman - roth
steppenwolf - hesse
homo faber - frisch
der zauberberg - t. mann
crime and punishment - dostoyevsky
this business of living - pavese
the pleasures of the damned - bukowski

some people never go crazy. what truly horrible lives they must lead - bukowski

i drink to make other people more interesting - hemingway

manuscripts don't burn - bulgakov

i am eaten by butterflies - bukowski

same old SOS - morrissey

moan
into the centuries,
if you can, a last scream: I'm on fire!  - mayakovsky