I'm deaf, dumb, blind, crippled and paraplegic.

I have no shame. I'm a huge nerd. I love laughing at everything and anyone! If you don't believe me, I challenge you to a nerd-fight. I will win.

You should take every single word I say very, very seriously. Because I will mean it. Especially if I'm making fun of you, then - of course - it will be true.

I speak some Spanish because I spend some time in Argentina, and am looking to improve it. I also want to learn Portuguese.

Please don't be TOO intellectual. If you are, hide it and act like a normal, fun, funny, enjoyable person that I want to spend my time around!!! However, that being said: if you really, really want to debate the Platonic vs Aristotelian approaches towards empiricism or the relationship between Edmund Burke's views on politics and his views on aesthetics (I'm more of a "sublime" man myself!)-- well, if you are truly insistent on discussing these, then you must demonstrate your desire to discuss it strongly to me and if I'm convinced by you, I'll have the intellectual conversation with you on it. For 5 minutes. Most requests like these I reject, but you can still try. So, otherwise, please lets stick to only talking about "hey, what did you do today?" and "I like your photos, you're cute", okay?!

I want to improve my Spanish, and learn Portuguese.

I always play my favorite game, which I invented: I watch the people around me, try to guess who they are (their jobs, life story, etc) and then I go up to them and ask them. Try it some time an tell me how it goes.

Brazilian music, like Os Mutantes. This is why I want to learn Portuguese! Some of my favorite music has also come from the Cape Verde Islands. What is it with places settled by Portugal? Don't get me started on Goa.

The Godfather. The Incredibles. Groundhog Day. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I watch Groundhog Day over and over. No, I'm not making a meta-self-referential pun on the theme of Groundhog Day; rather, I actually do watch it over and over! Seriously, I love that movie!

Lost. Arrested Development (RIP). I actually don't watch much TV, and I don't own one on purpose.

A book? What does that word mean? B - O - O K. I need to look up what this word means in this thing I discovered recently called the "dictionary."

PS: I just discovered that they now make a super cool techy version of this "dictionary" -- here's what they do: they print it all out onto paper, and then bind the pages together so you can keep it with you. Isn't modern technology amazing??  Wow!!!! These Google guys are such geniuses!

"That's Hot" -- Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is the quintessence of the deep intellectual: she has this amazing ability to take complex philosophical ideas and reduce them simple, basic thoughts that anyone can understand -- the ultimate intellect is creating simplicity out of complexity.

I've never heard anyone capture the nuances and paradoxes of the Kantian pseudo-cynicism the way she does in the words, "That's Hot"