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I could draw him if I were an artist.
He haunts my mind like a ghost.
He’s the only one that is not a demon from my past.
Everyone else has a familiar face
A friend, a relative, monsters from my past.
I could draw him if I were an artist
I see him sitting across from me
His long dark fingers moving chess pieces
I could draw him if I were an artist
I can see him standing before me
Hand out, drenched in rain
Coaxing me to dance,
I could draw him if I were an artist
Dancing with me
Drenched in the rain
A precious memory overwritten
Replaced by someone actually loving me
I could draw him if I were an artist
Strong and to hold
Firm muscle only giving to my softness
The dragon over his shoulder watching, protecting
I could draw him if I were an artist
The blurry vision seen through sleep clouded eyes
Opening them slightly
A warm blanket pulled over me as I doze
I could draw him if I were an artist
The look of worry
Tears stinging eyes
Waiting for doctors results
I could draw him if I were an artist
The look of joy of the unexpected
Finding new things
Building a bigger family
New experiences, together
I could draw him if I were an artist
Year after year
New lines on his face and hands
Color in his strength, supportiveness, care
I could draw him if I were an artist
Though he exists only in dreams
A figment of my imagination
Yet my heart screams
I could draw him if I were an artist.
He haunts my mind like a ghost.
He’s the only one that is not a demon from my past.
Everyone else has a familiar face
A friend, a relative, monsters from my past.
I could draw him if I were an artist
I see him sitting across from me
His long dark fingers moving chess pieces
I could draw him if I were an artist
I can see him standing before me
Hand out, drenched in rain
Coaxing me to dance,
I could draw him if I were an artist
Dancing with me
Drenched in the rain
A precious memory overwritten
Replaced by someone actually loving me
I could draw him if I were an artist
Strong and to hold
Firm muscle only giving to my softness
The dragon over his shoulder watching, protecting
I could draw him if I were an artist
The blurry vision seen through sleep clouded eyes
Opening them slightly
A warm blanket pulled over me as I doze
I could draw him if I were an artist
The look of worry
Tears stinging eyes
Waiting for doctors results
I could draw him if I were an artist
The look of joy of the unexpected
Finding new things
Building a bigger family
New experiences, together
I could draw him if I were an artist
Year after year
New lines on his face and hands
Color in his strength, supportiveness, care
I could draw him if I were an artist
Though he exists only in dreams
A figment of my imagination
Yet my heart screams
I could draw him if I were an artist.
Struggling today. I know I will never be beautiful but I wish I could still find someone to care for me. I am lonely and disappointed in the fact that I can not get someone to stay interested in my longer than a handful of conversations.
Outfit tryouts for the last date I got stood up for. Ended up in jeans and t with hair and makeup of course.
I wonder if there is a culture somewhere that's says that cutting off hair at a certain time cuts off ties, bad energy, toxins.... Whatever. Cut my hair yesterday with that nagging feeling that is the last of the bad energy that needed to go. The rest is healthy and will grow stronger and better now
It sucks trying to find someone I feel comfortable being myself around. Start to feel like I can open up a little bit and talk to someone and they realize that my world was insane. It isn't any more but was and has left me broken. They start to see me like a discarded you. Just like everyone else. Then ultimately choose to discard me as well.
Actually feeling some confidence over this one.
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